Leaving her
by RecklessWolf
Summary: One shot of Camila and Lauren arguing after Camila decides to leave Fifth Harmony


"Who's your celebrity crush?"

"Mine's Lauren!"

Camila let out a small laugh between her silent sobs.

God, she was so innocence back then, so untainted but these emotions that, back then, she didn't even know were possible to feel.

Looking back down at the old video that was still playing on her phone, she noticed how her hand was intertwined with Laurens. She could almost feel it now, how warm and soft Laurens hands were. She missed that. She missed how close they were back then. She missed the endless nights they spent cuddled up to each other, stealing shy glances when the other wasn't looking. She missed how Lauren's lips tasted and how she could spend hours kissing them which would eventually lead to wondering hands and hidden moans. Fuck, she missed Lauren.

The ironic thing was that the girl she had been crying about was only a few feet away from her, probably lying in her bunk, headphones on and scrolling through tumblr.

That's how Camila was supposed to spend her night. But as God or fate or whatever the hell is up there decided, she just had to stumble along a bunch of photos taken when the girls were back on X-Factor and of course that lead to watching a few vines and eventually just binge watching old interviews.

There was such a difference in how she was treated between then and now, not even just by Lauren, but by the other girls too. She couldn't really blame them though.

It was four months ago, when they were about half way done with the 7/27 tour that Camila had sat the girls down and told them her plans for the future. She had decided that after the new year, she would leave fifth harmony.

For Lauren, that was the first time she had heard of Camila's plans. To say she was shocked was an understatement. At first, her face was completely blank, no emotion what so ever, but after the shock wore off, it was clear that her walls began to tumble. Camila held her the whole night as she cried and repeatedly whispering in her ear that it wouldn't change anything between them, that they had a love too strong too break.

Obviously, she was wrong.

Over the next few weeks Lauren became distant and cold until she eventually stopped talking to her girlfriend completely.

The other girls were the same. The did become distantly, but they still talked and spent time with the brunette, even thought she could tell it was forced.

Camila couldn't blame them though, they were just preparing their hearts for what was to come.

But now, as she lay in her bunk the night before their final performance as a group, she wished now more than ever she could have a joke with Dinah or blast Beyonce with Normani or hug Ally as tight as she can.

But most of all, she wished she could hold Lauren.

Before she knew it, more tears had escaped her eyes and her cries echoed of the walls in her bunk.

Stop.

Camila quickly wiped her tear stained cheeks. She would not cry about this anymore. She had cried enough over the past few months to last a lifetime.

Pushing the curtain of her bunk to one side, Camila swung her legs out and made her way to the small toilet on the bus, quickly glancing at Lauren's bunk, seeing a stream of light from her phone and soft music playing from her headphones.

Once she got into the bathroom, Camila splashed some cold water on her face. She looked at her reflection. God, did she look tired. There were dark bags under her eyes from the sleepless nights that she faced on tour. The stress that came with her job was horrific, but standing up on a stage in front of hundreds of people really did make it worth it.

Camila thought about what it would be like after she left. She would finally be able to play her own music, not the songs that their management wanted them to sing.

Maybe she would even be allowed to come out as gay.

She shook her head at the thought. What would be the point in coming out if I didn't have Lauren next to me?

Before more tears could fall from her eyes, Camila opened the door and was shocked at who was in front of her.

"Sorry," Lauren said quietly. She lowered her hand that looked as if it was about to knock the door before Camila opened it. "I- ugh.. I heard you crying and wanted to see if you were okay."

This was the first time Lauren had spoken to Camila outside an interview in weeks.

The brown haired girl nervously shifted from foot to foot, not knowing what to do. "Yeah..." She replied, "I just m-miss Sofi..."

Lauren knew that was a lie. She could read Camila so easily. "Oh." Was all she said.

"Yeah.." Camila coughed nervously and gave Lauren a tight lip smile, afraid to look in to those green eyes because she knew it wouldn't end well.

There was a time when all she wanted was to look into her eyes. Camila could so easily get lost in them, its no wonder that so many fans noticed the looks that lasted a little to long to be 'just friends' or the small touches that would go unnoticed by anyone who wasn't looking for them.

As much as she didn't want to admit it, Lauren missed those times just as much as the other girl.

Deciding that things were getting a little too awkward in the silence that fell between the girls, Camila made a move to go back to her bunk.

Once her back was turned she let out a little breath of relief. That was before a warm hand wrapped around her arm.

"Camz, wait..."

Her heart stopped. Lauren hadn't called her that in months.

Camila couldn't even bring herself to look the dark haired girl in the eye. "What, Lauren?"

Lauren could here the quaver in Camila's voice and she knew the smaller girl was on the verge of tears. She had heard this voice so many times. Like when they were about to go on stage for the time as a group on X-Factor. Or the first night Camila cried because she missed her family so much. Or the first time she finally admitted she was in love with Lauren.

The taller girl didn't know what to say, there was to much.

I love you.

I miss you.

I'm so sorry.

Lauren could now feel tears burning her eyes. "Camila please," she begged as the first tear fell. She didn't even know what she was begging for at this point.

Suddenly Camila wasn't as sad anymore. She was angry. She was angry at Lauren for not being there when she needed her the most. She was angry at Lauren for forgetting about the love that they shared. But most of all, she was angry at herself for letting Lauren leave.

"Please what, Lauren?" Camila asked angrily.

When the older girl didn't reply, Camila pulled her arm from Lauren's grasp and stomped back to her bunk, tears running down her cheeks.

Just as she pulled her curtain back she heard Lauren speak again. "I still love you."

This made Camila turn around.

"You still love me?" She laughed as if it was some kind of joke. "You still love me? Then where were you for the past three months? Where have you been, Lauren? Because I'm sure as fuck that of you still loved me then you wouldn't have left me when I needed you more than anyth-"

"I was scared!" Lauren yelled over Camila and she was so thankful that the other girls weren't on the bus to hear them. "I was scared that you were going to break my heart when you leave!"

A silence fell among the girls at Lauren confession.

"Leaving the group didn't mean I was leaving you, Lauren." Camila explained, but it was no use at this point. Once Lauren decided on something, nothing could change her mind.

Lauren wrapped her arms around her body, as if it would somehow make her feel better. "That's not what it felt like."

The anger that Camila felt had now been replaced with guilt.

"I never meant to make you feel like that." She replied softly. It was true. Never once did she even think about leaving Lauren. They would most likely go back to L.A and maybe live together. The only different there would be was Camila making music or going on tour with her.

"I know..." Lauren whispered in defeat. "I know you never wanted that to happen, but you know how things go. It happened with all the other girls and their boyfriends, what makes us any different?"

"We made us different," Camila replied instantly. She took a few step forward until she was only a few centimeters away from the older girl. "What we had, it wasn't the same as the others. We had the real thing, Lauren."

For the first time that night, both girls locked eyes and it was as if nothing else had to be said between them.

"I shouldn't have left you, Camz." Lauren knew at the time that she should have stayed by her girlfriends side, but every time she would look in to those chocolate eyes or feel her soft hands or even just listen to the younger girl, all Lauren could think about was how difficult it would be without Camila in the group.

"Yeah, you shouldn't have," Camila replied, "but I shouldn't have let you leave."

Camila remembered when Lauren began to distance herself from her. She remembered so well how they slowly stopped sneaking into each others bunks to cuddle or how when Lauren talked to her, she would always have cold one worded replies.

But the younger girl just let it happen. She didn't fight for her girlfriend the way she thought she would. She didn't confront her and try to comfort her. She done nothing.

The darker haired girl laughed, "We're a mess." She said through her tears.

Camila giggled, "Yeah, we really are."

A silence fell over the girls once again, neither of them know what to do.

"So, what now?" Camila asked, unsure if she wanted to hear the answer of not.

Lauren sighed. Of course she wanted to be with Camila. She wanted that more than anything. But the thought of the smaller girl leaving the group made her heart clench.

"I... I love you so much, Camz. You know that." Camila's stomach released a cage of butterflies, but she didn't know of it was the good or the bad kind.

"But you don't want to be with me." Camila finished Lauren's sentence for her with a sigh. She looked down at her feet.

Lauren's eyebrows came together in confusion. "No, I want to be with more than anything, I just..."

"Just what, Laur?" Camila pleaded.

"I just feel like everything will change when you leave, you know? We'll both be busy with our music and then there's a chance that we'll go on tour again and you won't be there and I won't know what to do without you with me."

Lauren sounded so defeated and Camila could tell she spent a lot of time thinking this through. "I get that, I really do, but we could make it work."

The brown eyed girl reached out and grabbed Lauren's hand, intertwining their fingers like they've do so many times before.

The warmth of Camila's hand spread all through Lauren's body and it made her realise just how much she missed her touch. "You really think so?"

Camila didn't hesitate to nod. "Of course, I mean, look at what we've been through already. If we can get through being forced to keep are relationship a secret and everyone watching our ever move, I think we can get through this."

Lauren's lips turned up into a small smile at the thought of them getting through so much together. "I guess you're right."

"Aren't I always?" Camila replied with a grin.

The green eyed girl laughed. "Okay, no need to be cocky." She said, thankful that their serious conversation had died down into a more comfortable atmosphere.

"Why, would you prefer if I stopped talking to you?" Camila joked and felt Lauren's hand tense under hers. "Too soon?"

"Just a bit," she laughed. Lauren stopped holding back and pulled Camila into her chest, wrapping her arms around the smaller girls shoulders. "God, I missed you."

Camila inhaled deeply, taking in the smell of Lauren's perfume that she loved so much. She instantly felt better then than she had in months.

"Never leave me again." She whispered into the older girls chest.

"Never." Lauren promised.


End file.
